Followers beware! You're in for a scare!

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
spookyyarn
kaity--did

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

kaity--did

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

kaity--did

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

procrastinatorkimberlygrey

image

you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.

kaity--did

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

transgenderheartemoji
koloocheh

forget about touching grass, i need to touch THE SEA I NEED TO GO INTO THE WATER I NEED TO DIVE INTO THE SEA!!!!!!!!!!!!

koloocheh

I NEED TO GO IN THERE ⬇️⬇️⬇️‼️‼️‼️

image
trickstertime

Lol. Everyone in the notes freaking out like 'I live by the sea, don't jump in, it dangerous'.

Like, guys, guys, listen, you don't understand. They don't mean... They want to be... Listen, ok, I grew up on the sea, I've been through hurricanes on trawlers and gale force 9 storms crewing tallships. I've seen enormous waves absolutely destroy boats. I've been caught in riptides while scuba diving and felt the complete powerlessness of it. The sea will absolutely annihilate you, consume you, never give up your body, and not even notice.

I know the power of the sea better than most, however, I know exactly what they mean. Sometimes you see it churning with unfathomable power and all you want is to just get in the sea and have it absolutely fuckin blast you clean. Like sandblast your fuckin soul. Fuckin powerwash your bones clean. Ya know?

pockysquirrel

Can confirm, getting beat up by the ocean is a religious experience.